The 10 biggest winners from the financial crisis

High street retailers, estate agents, Iceland…the casualties of the economic crisis are all too familiar. But while there are losers, others have profited from the doom.

We’ve rounded up ten credit crunch Houdinis who’ve escaped the financial crisis and are laughing all the way to the ailing bank.

1. Andrew Lahde
Andew Lahde, a California based hedge-fund manager, made 888 per cent profits last year when his company Lahde Capital bet against US sub-prime mortgage assets. In September this year Mr Lahde decided he was rich enough to retire, closed his fund and released a letter, which has become an internet sensation.

The opening paragraph begins: “Today I write not to gloat, given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate.” In a petulant rant he then, bizarrely, goes on to ask the American government to recognise the benefits of growing marijuana and urges bankers to bin their blackberries and go on holiday.

2. John Paulson
Last year, John Paulson, a New York-based hedge fund manager, outsmarted Wall Street and made nearly $2 billion by betting against mortgage backed securities. Much derided for cashing in on others' misery, he has shown few regrets, telling the Wall Street Journal: “I've never been involved in a trade that had such unlimited upside with a very limited downside."

3. Barack Obama
The final straight of the presidential race has coincided nicely with the meltdown of the global financial system, providing a serendipitous marketing tool for Mr Obama. As voters watch the stock market plummet, the Democrats have offered to clean up the economic mess that the Republicans will leave behind.

4. Gordon Brown
A couple of months ago the Prime Minister was against the ropes. Now he’s being lauded as the rescuer of the banks. In an article in the New York Times entitled “Gordon does good” Paul Krugman, who two weeks ago picked up the Nobel Prize for economics said: “Luckily for the world economy, Gordon Brown and his officials are making sense… they may have shown us the way through this crisis.” Mr Brown’s polls ratings are starting to creep up and Labour, it seems, are back in the game.

5. Ronald McDonald
Don’t expect to bump into Ronald in the dole queue any time soon. As slightly pricier restaurant chains stare at gloomy sales figures, cheap and cheerful fast food joints are watching profits soar. McDonalds has seen two million extra customers a month compared with last year and is intending to create 4,000 new jobs in response.

6. Karl Marx
Dust off your headscarf, Marx is making a comeback. German bookstores have experienced a 300 per cent increase in sales of Das Kapital in recent months, and visitors are flocking to Marx’s birthplace in Trier – 40,000 so far this year. Jörn Schütrumpf, head of the Berlin publishing house Dietz, which brings out the works of Marx said: “We have a new generation of readers who are rattled by the financial crisis and have to recognise that neo-liberalism has turned out to be a false dream.”

7. Jamie Dimon, chief executive of JPMorgan Chase
With more than $900 billion in deposits, JP Morgan Chase is now America’s biggest savings business after it bailed out the failed Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual. Despite the market turmoil, its employees, not least its chief executive Jamie Dimon, can expect a nice Christmas box this year – staff have already been paid £700m in bonuses. Even better news for Dimon if rumour is to be believed, is that he will replace Hank Paulson as Treasury Secretary if Barack Obama makes it to the White House.

8. The Magic Circle
The paperwork is piling up on the desks of lawyers at Magic Circle firms such as Clifford Chance, Linklaters and Allen&Overy since the collapse of Lehman Brothers and Icelandic banks. Some top City lawyers are now demanding up to £900 an hour to dish out their advice on insolvency and restructuring. Fraud litigators are also feeling plush, as fraudsters are easier to spot during economic downturns.

9. Emilio Botin, chairman of Santander
Spanish Santander has been fattening itself up on high street banks rather than subprime mortgages, and thanks to a tough stance on exotic investment is now the world’s fifth largest bank based on the profits it generates. Already the owner of Abbey, Santander’s rescue of Alliance & Leicester and Bradford &Bingley mean that Mr Botin oversees almost 25million UK customers.

10. Bart Becht, chief executive of Reckitt Benckiser
The world’s biggest household detergent group and the makers of Cillit bang, Reckitt Benckiser has posted record profits of £373m for the last quarter. Apparently, as none of us can afford to leave the house or go out to eat we are staying in to clean the loo and stack the dishwasher instead.

List compiled by Laura Whateley

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Comments

[aryan]

At the time of financial crises we need to come together united and try to solve the problems which are responsible for such a hazard. We need to overcome it. It is meant to bring calm to the population and markets and display government strength and stability. As a large number of people spend their money in movies, making films, sports, nowadays even on internet many sites offer internet keno casino for the people interested in gambling but there people lose a large sum of money there in such stuffs which should be minimized as the world is going through a phase where a little wastage of money could be matter of remorse.

[Alasdair Forbes]

Sometimes you just gotta laugh:

9. Emilio Botin, chairman of Santander
Spanish Santander has been fattening itself up on high street banks rather than subprime mortgages etc etc.

And investing the money with Madoff.....

[Ann E. Mouse]

"In a petulant rant he then, bizarrely, goes on to ask the American government to recognise the benefits of growing marijuana and urges bankers to bin their blackberries and go on holiday."

Not bizarre really - legalizing would shift a huge amount of money from leaving the US going to overseas crime organizations among other changes that would ensue with legalization - creating real cash flow amongst real people in the USA, not in slush funds sloshing around the globe in big bank ledgers.

Bankers should clearly go on holiday because they aren't doing d*mn thing to make the economic situation better, they can sit on 7 Trillion dollars on holiday, same as they are now in their offices.

We need more guys like him, fewer like Paulson and the 3 CEO stooges of GM et al.

[Anon.]

Credit crunch. God's way solves.
Gambling is a vice and sin and must be banned. Then can similar activities be controlled as God has revealed what is and what is not conductive. Ask a muslim scholar as islam has kept faith from the first to the last of God's messengers [prayer].
Anon.

[Mailman]

Number three needs to be corrected as todays financial mess is directly related to laws enacted by Clinton (Democrat) and the fact that Obama, along with Dodds, Franks and other Democrat senators blocked Republican efforts to regulate Fanny and Freddy, thus ensuring todays mess would come about.

[psetrader]

Losing 40% in my stock portfolio I'm excited that the JP Morgan CEO will be the new Treasury Secretary. As I have read, JP Morgan and friends are controlling the world economy. Thus, having bought all the banks at bargain prices, I think in the next decade JP Morgan will try to profit from the bargain banks they bought.

[Shrivan]

what about foreigners living in the UK?take intl students e.g..decreasing prices and a low £..they dont need more to be happy..

[Sue Reynolds]

Keep it simple stupid - GB should just cut tax on diesel then inflation would tumble

[Dan W.]

@DJ Hope democrats have an easier time fixing their mess,the failed economy,alleged, than we republicans did with ours, Saddams Iraq,alleged.

[adam]

Adam, I thought you might be interested in this Times article. Maybe you should push your strengths as insolvency, restructuring and fraud litigation? (See para on Magic Circle firms

[Dave bridge]

Money!................Totally disgusting

[Bill Carr]

Hm.......
Wasn't it J.P.Morgan that invented the betting slips called Credit Default Swaps ?
Sounds like they only bought them, never sold them !

[ruby]

the financial crisis is the one we concerned,but we can do nothing. what we can do is to find a job and earn our living.

[DJ]

You say: Barack Obama will "clean up the economic mess that the Republicans will leave behind."

Lost .. all .. credibility .. there. The fact is, the Democrats in the U.S. Congress are largely responsible for this. Yes. For the first six years of Bush's Presidency, he had a republican-led Congress. But the Republicans had a simple-majority for the most part. Not enough to override Democrat objections. And object they did. LOUDLY. It was the democrats who resisted, even derided ANY efforts to reform Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. It was largely Democrats .. mostly former Clinton White House staffers running those two organizations into the ground. And the BIG problem is that some 63-million American voters were not bright enough to educate themselves to these facts. And as a result, they have put the Party largely responsible for the economic meltdown in an even GREATER position to mess up the economy even FURTHER, and have left them without ANY checks and balances to reign in their unbridled power! Buckle up world .. it's going to be a VERY bumpy ride for the next four years! I hope you're happy with the candidate that you all but coronated and knighted from across the pond!

[kim]

, students do not have to worry about mortgages, bonds and insurance . once the time comes for that we will be ready armed with the knowledge of our predecessing generational problems
-HappyNewz com
kim

[the terrible beastess]

You forgot to mention recruitment consultants - and the Times of course, taking on everyone that got laid off at the Telegraph:-) as cheap labour....

[JL]

"a flushering economy"

"predecessing generational chaos"

Ben Stone

Ah, education today...

[Ben Stone]

As well as the major banking industry profiteering invidiuals I think students of the UK should be added or at least mentioned. During times of instability and unempolyment rises, we are living on the desperation of banks to keep us in the long term as well as Government support so that once we graduate into what we are told to be a flushering economy in two-three years time we will be able to invest our wishful wages accordingly.

Remember, students do not have to worry about mortgages, saving bonds and insurance e.t.c yet once the time comes for that we will be ready armed with the knowledge of our predecessing generational chaos.

[Ralph]

@Niklas. Calm down. 'Filthy rich' simply means 'very rich'. Yes, it carries (limited) connotations of wealthy-envy, but is mostly used without these in mind. Your little outburst does nothing to raise the standard of debate here. Cheers!

[G Gardiner]

J A Paulson is advised by Alan Greenspan. He has shorted 1.67% of RBS and .87% of Lloyds shares. He has won from this only because the pound has fallen against the dollar. How did he know it would? Because he is pulling sterling investments following Darling's decision to nationalise without compensation?

[Niklas Smith]

In what way is it "filthy" to become rich by making a correct prediction - that US subprime mortgage lending was unsustainable and that the securities built on it were overpriced and overcomplex? Why is it considered all right to gain from a bubble by selling to a greater fool? I say congratulations to Andrew Lahde and John Paulson for not being seduced by bubble.